


Never Serve a Meal You Aren't Willing to Eat

by Late4f8



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Gen, Humor, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Late4f8/pseuds/Late4f8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sanzo-party plays another game on their long trip West.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Serve a Meal You Aren't Willing to Eat

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: From Challenge #314, "Trading Places" from 100_roadtrips at LJ, but since it ran well over 100 words, well... here it is.

* * * * *

 

"It'll be fun." Hakkai held out a fist of short straws with names written on them.  
"I drew Sanzo!" Goku yelled. "I get the fan and the gun, right?"  
"Hell, no. Goddammit, I'm not pretending to be the kappa."  
"You should feel privileged to be me." Gojyo tossed his hair and drew out a stick. "Hey, buddy, I got you."  
"Well that leaves me as Goku." Hakkai laughed. "And coincidentally, I am hungry!"  
In the restaurant, Goku worked at grumbling around mouthfuls of food, while Gojyo made pale attempts at speaking politely and not cursing. Hakkai picked at his dinner, and occasionally stole Sanzo's food from his plate.  
Sanzo leaned back and pulled out his cigarettes. "Being Gojyo is easy. Smoke. Drink. Be a lazy ass."  
"Sounds like being yourself, you shitty monk. You forgot flirting." Gojyo leered at him. "You're not me until you pick up a chick."  
There were seconds of silence around the table as Sanzo lit his smoke.  
Goku stage-whispered, "Sanzo, you'll fail if you don't!"  
"The penalty can't be any worse than pretending to be this red-haired idiot."  
"Hey!"  
"Now, now," Hakkai interrupted. "We all have some idea of what the penalties are in our penalty jar. If Sanzo wishes to select one of those instead, then that's his choice."  
There was a longer silence around the table as they each contemplated the game penalties they'd written and dropped in the empty mayonnaise jar.  
Gojyo suddenly chuckled around the filter of his cigarette, while Goku chewed his lip and looked mischievous. Hakkai's face looked much too serene.  
"Tch. Fine." Sanzo took a long drag from his cigarette and stubbed it out. He stood and spied their waitress several tables away wiping off chairs and tables. Gojyo had been flirting with her at lunch, and though she was older, she wasn't ugly. He stepped away from the table.  
Gojyo hooted encouragement. "Don't forget to be nice, Sanzo-sama!"  
"Shut-up," Sanzo snapped back, eyes focused on his target.  
He grasped her wrist and she startled and looked up.  
"You. My room. Now."  
The waitress drew back, looked him up and down and then huffed. "If you weren't a priest, I'd slap you." She turned her back on him and went back to wiping the tables, albeit more vigorously than before.  
Sanzo returned and slipped gracefully back into his chair, and he pulled out another cigarette and lit it.  
"Mission accomplished," he exhaled in a cloud of smoke.  
"Are you joking?" Gojyo blew smoke back at him and smirked. "She totally turned you down."  
Goku looked crushed as he looked back and forth between them. "Sanzo."  
Sanzo rubbed his ear and spoke in a bored tone. "The challenge was not to 'pick up chicks.' The challenge was to be you. And you never pick up chicks."  
Goku brightened and then pointed at Gojyo and laughed, while Hakkai attempted to smother his own surprised chuckle.  
Gojyo's eyes widened and he balled up a fist. "Why you -"  
"Furthermore," Sanzo interrupted loudly, "she threatened to slap me. And that alone should make me the winner." Sanzo looked smug as he took another drag from his cigarette.  
"Haha!" Goku crowed. "You lose, you stupid, pervy kappa!"  
Hakkai tittered cheerily. "I'll have to concede that I think Sanzo is the winner here."  
"Hey, wait a minute! We've barely started playing this game!"  
"Accept your penalty with grace," Sanzo drawled out over Goku's chants of, "Loser!"  
"Indeed, Gojyo. I'm afraid it's unanimous." Hakkai didn't look a bit sympathetic as he stood up.  
"Gah! You guys are ganging up on me!"  
"Now, now, Gojyo. We support you completely." Hakkai's attempt at mollification had no effect as his grip on Gojyo's elbow tightened, and the four of them crowded up the stairs together. "The penalty jar awaits."  
Gojyo gave up digging in his heels and cursed his luck. "Dammit!"

* * * * *


End file.
